BELOVED OSHO,
I AM A CATHOLIC NUN. CAN I ALSO BECOME A SANNYASIN?
Mary, certainly! I am here just to destroy monks and nuns; that's my very purpose for
hanging around. It is to sabotage the old idea of monks and nuns, it is to bring a new kind
of sannyasin into the world. The monks and nuns of all the religions -- Catholic,
Protestant, Hindu, Mohammedan, Jaina, Buddhist -- have all been escapists. They are
people who are basically afraid of life.
I teach you fearlessness.
Live as totally and passionately as possible, because it is through intense living that you
will find God. God is nothing but life lived at the optimum, with total abandon, a dance
danced so totally that the dancer disappears; only the dance remains. Then you have
found and you have come home.
Mary, if you are a Catholic nun, then be quick! There is no time to waste, because it will
take time for me to uncondition you. The Catholics condition people in a very scientific
way, in a far more scientific way than Hindus and Mohammedans and Buddhists can do,
because the West knows the latest methods, techniques, strategies to condition people.
Buddhist strategies are twenty-five centuries old; Jaina strategies are even older, perhaps
fifty centuries old. Christianity has been learning continuously whatsoever becomes
available through psychological research, and has been trying to use all the modern
methods of conditioning which have been developed by Pavlov, Skinner, Delgado and
others.
So it will take a little longer for me to help you get rid of your nunhood. But I am also
aware of the latest -- not only the latest, I am also aware of many other techniques which
have not yet been developed. I have come a little ahead of my time, at least one hundred
years before, so all those things can be sabotaged. I can dynamite....
You are welcome. Don't hesitate at all.
The saints were really bored, so they sent Mary, The Holy Virgin, to Poona to see what
was going on and make a daily telephone report back to them.
The first call was answered by Peter. "Hello, Peter, this is Mary, The Holy Virgin. Today
I dyed all my clothes orange. What do you think about it?"
"That's okay," said Peter, "if everybody does it."
The next call came: "Hello, Peter, this is Mary, The Holy Virgin. Today I did Dynamic
Meditation, what do you think about that?"
"Well," responded Peter, "if everybody does it, it's all right."
On the third day the call came: "Hey, Peetsey Weetsey, this is Veet Mary, the
Holy...um...er.... Ciao, bello!"
Mary, don't waste time!
Malcolm and Eddie were out joyriding when they smashed into a brick wall. When they
arrived at the gates of Heaven, Saint Peter said to Malcolm, "Since you were a good boy
and didn't sin very much we're going to give you this new Buick to get around in up
here."
Peter turned to Eddie and said, "You were not so good, my son, so you drive this
Volkswagen."
Just as the boys were about to get into their new cars, a big Lincoln Continental pulled
up. Inside, a fat guy smoking a big cigar sat behind the wheel. He smiled and drove on.
"Who was that?" Malcolm asked.
"Oh," said St. Peter, "that was the last pope John!"
Malcolm and Eddie drove off in their new cars, out to tour Heaven. Later that day
Malcolm saw Eddie's Volkswagen parked along the side of the road. Eddie was a little
way away, rolling on the grass, laughing hysterically.
"What's so funny, Eddie?"
"You won't believe this!" Eddie roared. "I just saw Jesus coming down the road on roller
skates!"
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