BELOVED OSHO,I AM CONFUSED ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SURRENDER AND FOLLOWING MY INNER LIGHT. IT SEEMS THAT WHEN I WANT TO
SURRENDER, I AM AFRAID TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MYSELF, AND WHEN I
WANT TO FOLLOW MY INNER LIGHT, I'M AFRAID OF WHAT YOU WILL ASK
OF ME IN SURRENDER.
You have to be absolutely clear about it: if you already have the inner light there is no
need for any surrender, because surrender is only going to help you to bring the inner
light. If you have it already, then forget all about surrender. But... you don't have it. Just
to avoid surrender you imagine that you have it.
If you have it, you have it. Then the question of surrender does not arise. You don't have
it. You only have inner darkness, no inner light. So when you go in you find darkness;
then you start thinking of surrender. When you start thinking of surrender then you
become afraid -- because the ego comes in. It is not the inner light that is hindering you.
Inner light never hinders anybody.
Let me say it in this way: if you surrender, it is a help to the inner light; if there is inner
light, it is a help to surrender -- because inner light and surrender are two aspects of the
same coin.
If you have inner light then there is no fear in surrendering, because fear comes only
because of the ego. The inner light is already a surrendering phenomenon; you are
already surrendered.
So if you have the inner light, first I say there is no need to surrender; second I say that if
you have the inner light, then there will be no problem in surrender. If you don't have the
inner light, then there is trouble. Then you need surrender in the first place, and you will
avoid surrender in the second place. Let me tell you one very beautiful story. Meditate
over it.
One day, an atheist was walking along a cliff when he slipped and fell over the edge. As
he plunged downwards he managed to grab the branch of a small tree that was growing
from a crevice in the rock. Hanging there, swaying in the cold wind, he realized how
helpless his position was. Far below were jagged boulders and there was no way to climb
up. His grip on the branch was weakening every second. "Well," he thought, "only God
can save me now. I have never believed in God but I might be wrong. What have I to
lose?" So he called out, "God, if you exist, save me, and I will believe in you." There was
no answer. He called again, "Please God, I never believed in you, but if you will save me
now, I will believe in you from now on!"
Suddenly a great voice boomed down from the clouds, "Oh no you won't, I know your
kind."
The man was so surprised, he almost lost his grip on the branch. "Please God, you are
wrong. I really mean it; I will believe."
"Oh no you won't. That's what they all say."
The man pleaded and argued. Finally God said, "Alright, I will save you. Let go of the
branch."
"Let go of the branch!" the man exclaimed. "Do you think I am crazy?"
Think about this.
Even when you have nothing to lose, you are afraid to surrender. Now the man says, "Let
go of the branch! Do you think I am crazy?" Hanging onto this branch in the cold wind,
and his grip every moment becoming weaker and weaker, and still he is not ready to
surrender.
God can save you only when you surrender. Your surrender shows that you trust; there is
no other way to show it. Your prayer is not enough. The man was praying. "Save me!"
but he could not show trust. Your prayer is impotent. If there is no trust to back it, then it
means nothing. Only your trust shows that your prayer is meaningful, that you really
mean it.
If you feel that on your own nothing is happening and you are getting lost more and more
in darkness; on your own if you see that only death is coming closer and closer and your
grip is becoming weaker and weaker and you will dissolve into death sooner or later; if
you see that, this is my message: let go of the branch. And if you can let go, immediately,
in that very let-go you are saved... because you are saved from yourself.
The problem is not somewhere outside; the problem is your ego. You have to be saved
from the ego. The problem is man himself; man has to be saved from man himself. The
enemy is not outside, the enemy is within. In surrender you drop that enemy. In that very
dropping the inner darkness disappears. Not that you surrender and I will do something;
remember, nobody can do anything. When you surrender, in that very surrender
something happens and your inner light starts burning, your inner light starts becoming
clear. Clouds disappear.
Not that through your surrender I will do something to you; YOU do something to you
through your surrender. I am just an excuse. And this has to be understood.
Don't surrender to me in order not to have any responsibility. Don't surrender to me in
greed. Don't surrender to me thinking that now I will do something. Nobody can do
anything to you: that is your total freedom, nobody can interfere in it. I am just an excuse.
Without me it will be difficult for you to surrender. Otherwise, you can go and you can
surrender to the sky; the same will happen. You can go and you can surrender to a
Buddha-statue and the same will happen. You can go to a mosque where there is no
statue and surrender, and the same will happen. These are all excuses. Whichever excuse
you like best you can do -- but surrender you have to do.
In surrender your ego is dropped. Your ego is your ignorance, your ego is your darkness,
your ego is your prison.
No comments:
Post a Comment